Not Mine
by tessatomywill
Summary: Stiles and Lydia are on their way to Mexico City once again, but this time, Lydia has feelings inside of her, feelings she can't control. And this time the car ride seem longer than it should, Lydia is afraid that she can ruin everything. Just by saying 3 words.


It was colder than Lydia had counted on today. She looked down at her flower dress and high heels and sighed, maybe not the best outfit for October. Maybe she hadn't counted on that Stiles' jeep would be so cold. It was usually humid, but today, it was freezing cold, and she didn't bring a jacket.

_- Stiles , can you turn the heat up? I'm freezing, she said._

He looked at her , and her choice of clothes and raised his eyebrow.

-_Maybe next time , bring a jacket Lydia. It doesn't get hotter than this in this Jeep, buy the way, it's october, what did you expect? _

She sighed and turned her face against the car window, they had a long drive ahead and it wasn't going to get warmer so she figured she might as well drop the complaining. They were on their way to Mexico, for the second time this year. They had already been there once right after Allison's death. That hadn't worked out so well. But now it wasn't about Derek anymore, or the deadpool, even though they still hadn't found the benefactor they were on their way to Mexico to help Malia.

During the weeks after The Deadpool thing had started Malia had found leads to her family. It all lead back to Mexico, and they had tried to contact Malia several times, thinking she was a banshee. None of them understood why, but according to Malia, it was important to find out. Maybe it was? Maybe they would be one step closer to finding out who The Benefactor was, or finding out why they thought Malia was a banshee, and if those two were connected.

Lydia had been confused about her feelings toward Malia, she had also been confused about her feelings for Stiles. She didn't know exactly what she felt, just that it was strong, and it wasn't going to go away. It wasn't like what she had felt for Aiden, or even Jackson. This was different. And in a way, it felt like she and Stiles had connected on some kind of spiritual level that she didn't really understand. All she understood was that every he was with Malia, he ignored that connection more and more, almost like it was starting to fade away. And Lydia didn't feel very good about it.

She knew that this connection was stronger than friendship, _god she had changed. _2 years ago she wouldn't even look Stiles' way, now here she was, in the jeep with him and she felt home. She knew that it might already would be too late if she wanted to be with him, because she had waited. _Stupid. _She had waited for so long, she had thought he was lame, but she didn't knew better back then. It was not until last year that she really had thought of the small things he actually had done for her. That little speech at the dance when they had danced together for the first time, when he had told her what she already had known for a long time, how smart she really was. Or when he came up to her , when she was crying in car because Jackson had decided to ignore her and he told her that even though she cried she was beautiful. Or all those other little things , like all the times last year when he had talked to her, just talked. Making her feel special.

Then Malia came into the picture and her feelings got confused. He started to almost ignore her and focus on Malia. Lydia wasn't a brat anymore so she understood that Malia had no human experience, that's why she acted the way she acted. But it still bothered her when Stiles would look her in the eyes or hug her.

She had been there , the night in the basement. During Malia's first full moon. Stiles hadn't noticed , neither had Malia. The way Stiles had looked at Malia, that was the exact way he had used to look at Lydia. She knew it was her own fault, he had even admitted that he had a crush on her several times. Not said it out loud exactly but, she wasn't dumb. Now she was too late. Her emotions had come too late, of course. When she finally had found a guy that made her feel special, made her feel like maybe she was worth something more than her good looks and a one night stand. She had screwed up , badly, and now she was paying for it. _He will never be mine..._

Lydia didn't realise that she had said those last 5 words out loud until Stiles turned his head her way and said

-_Lydia, did you say something? _

_- No no, i was just..._

He pulled over and stopped the car. Why did he do that? Was there a problem with the car or something?

_-Stiles, why are we pulling over? Scott and the others are waiting for us, now we will be even more behind them than we already were when we started this car, is there a problem with it? Are we out of gas?_

Stiles didn't say anything, he just looked at her and took her wrists. The way he looked at her now, was the exact way he hadn't looked at her for months, the way he had looked at Malia that night in the basement. She felt her heart race as he spoke.

_-Lydia , I know something is wrong, you have been grumpy this whole ride, if there is anything wrong please just tell me okay._

Her heart stopped beating, or at least it felt like it. He said those words with such honesty. His voice was so tender and caring, she almost got tears in her eyes. Yes something was bothering her, but it wasn't like she could tell him? It would be too late, he already had Malia now... she turned away and his hands fell to his sides, but he wouldn't stop looking at her.

_- Lydia, please, i know something is wrong, you haven't been the same since..._

Don't you say the words Stiles, or i swear I am going to cry. Dealing with Allison's death was still a thing they all went through, and none of them was the same after that. Why did he even ask? If this was about Allison's death then he would already know why she was acting like she was... unless...

No. There was no way, no way that he was going to say her name, no. She had been really good at hiding her feelings , he couldn't possibly know how she felt about him , or Malia? Or Could he? He finished the sentence, and the minute he did, she kind of stopped breathing.

_- Since Malia came into the picture, Lydia if there is anything bothering you with her then just tell me, I'll make her understand._

No nothing bothering me, except the fact i think I am in love with you and is a total retard for not telling you earlier, and i wish i could change that. And except the fact that everytime you look at her , i get a lump in my throat. No , nothing at all.

_-Lydia, look, i don't care if this is about Malia, or Allison or Aiden... all i care about is you _

_- Stiles, please don't. _

She felt the tears behind her eyelids threatening to spill out any moment. God. She couldn't cry in front of him, she had done it before but this time it was different. Those other times it had been about Allison, or Aiden or Jackson. This time it was about him.

_- Lydia, I am not driving the car until you tell me what's wrong. _

She didn't want to yell at him, this was her own fault, her own stupid feelings. But she couldn't stop herself.

_- STILES PLEASE JUST DRIVE THE DAMN CAR, I'M FINE, PLEASE, NOW._

He just sighed and took his jacket off. He only wore a t-shirt , and Lydia hadn't noticed before , but underneath the white t-shirt you could trace his muscles. _God, when did this happen, is he on steroids or something? This is not the scrawny boy she had ignored for almost all of her life. _

Then he turned to her, and without a word, put the jacket around her shoulders, then he started driving again.

They had been driving for 20 more minutes, but it was still 2 hours left until they would be in Mexico. And all she could think about was her feelings. Her stupid feelings. The way he had looked at her, worried about her, like he always did. How could she have been so blind all these years? The jacket around her shoulders smelled like him, like Stiles. It smelled like home. She sighed again. That got Stiles's attention.

_-Lydia for real, if you don't tell me what you are upset about, i know you are lying, something is bothering you, just tell me what it is. _

She felt anger building up inside her, she didn't know if she would be able to control her words once she started talking so she said nothing and turned her head against the car window.

_- Fine, don't talk to me then._

She would have been able to control herself , until he said that. Before she knew it, the words exploded out of her mouth.

_- OKAY FINE YOU WIN, I AM NOT FINE, I AM FAR FROM FINE._

She felt the tears streaming down her face, but before she could say anything else he responded.

_- Then please Lydia tell me what's wrong, I'm going crazy, why won't you talk to me?_

He sounded more desperate than angry but she kept shouting at him.

_- GOD, DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND? ISN'T IT OBVIOUS ..._

_- Isn't what obvious Lydia?_

_-IT'S YOU I'M UPSET ABOUT. _

Stiles looked confused, he was quiet for maybe 30 seconds, but it felt like forever. _What are you doing Lydia, don't tell him. You can't , no. Just let it go. Make up a lie. Say that ... _But before she could think of something to say Stiles replied.

_-Why Lydia? Did i do something? I don't understand, why are you upset about me?_

There was a long silence, she felt something inside her. Something she was afraid that she wouldn't be able to control if it came to the surface, and she was right. Before she knew what she was doing she called his name again.

_-Stiles?_

_- Yeah?_

He turned his head around, she leaned forward and kissed him. He didn't push her away, he leaned in to the kiss and they both held their breath. Last time they had been kissing, it was so different. He had been the one to his breath. Now they were holding it together. He tasted exactly like she thought he would, he tasted like home. He was kissing her back with passion, like he had been waiting for this his whole life, she felt sparks fly through her body, _i belong with him. _They broke it off slowly and looked at each other before Stiles realised that he was still driving the car. He pushed the gas pedal the hardest he could in the middle of the road and they stopped with a halt.

He turned around to look at her again, he looked confused , he looked shocked. She just stared into his eyes, and felt like her soul belonged there. Before she knew it, she spoke those words. Those words she had been confused about, and afraid to speak. They finally made sense.

-_Stiles, I'm upset about you, because ... i love you._

He didn't say anything, just held her gaze, then he leaned in and kissed her. This time none of them held their breath. They were consumed in the kiss. She again, felt sparks fly through her. This was her home. He was her home. He had been that all along. She felt his fingers in her hair, and she also put her fingers in his soft hair. And they kissed for a long time, before they broke it off, slowly. He still started at her, and it took a few minutes until he spoke again.

_- Why didn't you tell me Lydia?_

He leaned closer so that their foreheads were touching, and she could feel his breathing against her mouth.

_- Because you and Malia..._

_- Is not technically together, she needs me and you know why_

_- But Stiles, the way you look at her, is the same way used to look at me, and i was afraid it was too late._

_- It's not the same look, i look at her because she relies on me, she needs me to survive the human world, I was the first boy she connected with, she had never been a human girl before, she doesn't know how to handle teenage boys Lydia. It has always been you. It will never be to late. _

She stopped breathing as he put his arms around her, she started to cry , he just stroked her hair. He didn't even say anything, but he didn't need to. His hug was enough to comfort her. They stayed like that for a while then he slowly broke the hug and started into her eyes again and stroke the tears away from her cheek.

_-But Stiles, how are you going to tell Malia? _

_- I'll figure something out, please don't ruin the moment._

She laughed, and for the first time in months, she felt truly happy. She turned away from him as he started driving. Seconds later her hand took his, and it didn't even seem strange, it felt like his hand belonged in hers. And as they drove away he turned around to her one last time and spoke the words she already knew.

_-Hey Lydia, i love you too. _

The he smiled, and they drove away , suddenly she wanted the car ride to not end. She wanted it to last forever, to stay forever like this , with his hand in hers. And as she saw the line of all the buildings of Mexico City she held his hand tighter. And they entered the town once again, together.


End file.
